There are few things that we are protective of as women and mothers. We’re protective of our children, our spouses, our homes, our cars. So many of us become mama bears when any of these things are even approached by others looking to steal the love, the good, the support, the time of these items. We have no problem admitting that we’ve been known to yell, fight, or argue to make sure no one steals our prized possessions. In fact, we have been known to go bat shit crazy because well let’s face it…all of us have a sprinkle of crazy in us.
But one thing not many moms admit is saying…
“Bitch stole my babysitter.”
You heard me right. How often have you not given your babysitter’s name or information to a friend because you are scared of losing the only person that is a part of your sanity. Forget your husband, your friends, your family. No, my friends, your babysitter is a prized possession who you desperately need for that moment out of the house without a snot nosed child wiping themselves on your shoulder or leg or a scream in the background while you’re on the phone. You need that babysitter so you can take a moment just to eat dinner…peacefully…without dodging flinging ketchup and green beans…so you can have an adult conversation without refereeing a fight between siblings.
Yes, my babysitter is my prized possession and without her I’d die a long ketchup and snot covered death by suffocation.
But I need a new one. A daytime one. I need one that will be there so I can work out without my kids pulling down my gym pants. So I can do a pilates plank without 50 pound of little boys climbing onto my back. My core is strong, people, but it’s not that strong. I need one so I can go to my GYN appointments without having to hide the boys from the sight of that man with the metal duck going near their mommy’s girly bits.
Yes, I need a new one because the one problem with day time sitters is they all get jobs. Or a life. And I’m left to scour the planet (or city) for the one person that is a good sitter. I’m a babysitter snob. I will rate you, judge you, and find out if you’re good enough for my boys. I want you to be that person that my boys get excited to see, that I trust will follow the rules, and let the kids have fun but not let them be brats.
I need a replica of me. If you haven’t noticed, I’m pretty dang complicated and I’m “special” so it’s a hard find in the sea of babysitters.
I ask around to my mom friends. They tell me that they have a great one and they’ll let me know if she has any availability. They won’t tell me more than that. They hold their sitters close to their chests. Clinging to it as if though their sanity is dependent on their sitters flexible schedule.
I never hear from them again.
They hold their cards to their chest like a poker player holding pocket kings and scared the flop is going to give you the upper hand instead.
The sitter is busy.
The bitch won’t share her babysitter.
Too bad, because I have a really good evening sitter for her….if I don’t need the sitter myself. Yes, I’m a bitch that won’t share my babysitter either.
Ha! Sitters are sacred… aren’t they???
kate recently posted..A Life Lesson in the Art of Prioritization
I, honestly, don’t know what I’d do without family . . . both my mother-in-law and my mother are home all day, most every day. If my wife needs someone to take the rugrats, there is always someone available (sorry, not trying to brag, just trying to explain why I still have an ounce of sanity left).
I’d kill for 5-10 minutes when I come home to not deal with anything.
And what is it about little people that, as soon as they see that you’re on the ground, you need to be bounced upon?
John recently posted..Where I play out the movie of an unwritten memoir
I never ever give my babysitters names or numbers to my friends, Never ever ever.
Jen recently posted..Our Story
When I was younger (and a babysitter) I broke up a friendship and I still feel bad about it. I babysat for one family and she “borrowed” me to her friend who I then started babysitting for regularly an then they stopped being friends. I totally get it!
Marta recently posted..Listography – 5 Celebrities I’d Like to Have a Beer With
Sadly, I don’t have a sitter for the evening time. I have one for the daytime when I go to work though. But work isn’t fun or relaxing like going out to dinner with friends!
So fucking true! I love this. It’s so true that you don’t share your babysitter info. I have done it a few times because I know my friends have been in a bind, but I always regret it because inevitably it becomes a scheduling headache for all of us. Have you had much success with SitterCity? I’ve used them for years.
She’sWrite recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: Cat Nap
LOL!! GIrl this is so funny and too true. A babysitter is a prized possession! But daytime ones are SUPER hard to find. I NEVER go to any kind of Dr because none of them offer a complimentary childcare service (which I think they should by the way!)Miss you girl…hope you’ve been good!
Crystal recently posted..Lurking around Every Corner
I’m a mom AND a nanny. You wouldn’t believe how many people have tried to get me to leave my current family to help them out, or a friend, or their sister four times removed.
CJ recently posted..Happy One Year, Baby
Ok, it is wrong to ask a friend for help, and then compete with that friend for the sitter she offered up in response to your need. Period. Wrong wrong wrong. Any woman who does that to another woman is a dick
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[...] off the bat, try reading Bi%#! Stole My Babysitter. Does this resonate with you? All of your friends have a great babysitter, but somehow, even though [...]
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Ha, I was reading your blog and thought you would get a kick out of our who. My writing partner and I are both babysitters and recently released a comedic mock-reality show about babysitting in New York. We actually paid for all of the episodes with our babysitting money. We’d love for you to check out the first 2 episodes and subscribe if you enjoy. (We’re better babysitters than we play in the show)
Episode 1:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axmZnB0k_Gw
Episode 2:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRqzOuhfssw&feature=iv&annotation_id=annotation_323399
Brooke Jacob recently posted..Episode Two
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What you have said here is so true Sara. Absolutely loved reading it. It is a blessing to be able to find a good babysitter and then to have to lose them to some vicious mind can be so heart-wrenching. I have seen a friend hold her sitter so close to her heart that she even avoids discussing an evening out. Made me smile reading this but so true.
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