Lately I’ve been having an internal struggle with spirituality. My life has been in chaos (or at least seems that way to me) and I can never seem to get a grip on things around me. As soon as I figure it out it all starts to fall out of balance again. So when I put my son to bed last night, his words hit me like a ton of bricks.
Last night I was exhausted. I hadn’t slept well the night before (a usual as of late) and I had had a long day with the kids. My irritability had been sensed by my husband and he made a well timed exit to his Sunday night class. Which left me alone…with the boys..and a splitting headache that was about to make the Andes Fault Line look like scratch.
But that’s ok. He deserved his time away. He needed it.
After a bath that landed more water on me, the walls, and the floor than the kids. After screams that bath time wasn’t over yet. After a story and a song to a certain very tired toddler boy. I sighed, One down, one to go.
I’m sure something in me screamed “I need a break!” or “Mommy can’t take much more!” Whatever it was, my preschooler silently understood and walked with me happily as we went through our night time routine.
“Brush my teeth. Put my jammies on. Cuddle on the couch. Watch TV. Story and song and go to bed!” he sang as we went through each step.
We brushed his teeth and as we sat in his room preparing to put his jammies on he wandered off to play with a toy. I laid out his Pull-Up, I picked out a pair of jammies, and then he said it. He said it so thoughtlessly as he played with his truck.
“Mom, you got me and put me together,” I stopped what I was doing to listen to what he said. “And took me home with you and I loved you.”
He suddenly ran to me and hugged me. He planted a wet kiss on my exhausted cheek.
“What do you mean, honey? What did I do?” I ask him trying to see where he had gained such infinite wisdom as I shuffle on his Pull-Up.
“You chose me,” he said matter of factly as he continued to play. He said it as if though it were yesterday. I almost felt that he was remembering something I have long gone forgotten. Or I was never privy to in the first place.
“Where did I choose you?”
He paused and stopped everything. He looked off and said, “The airport.”
I giggled. Why, of course, that’s where we pick up the people we love. At least, that’s what we do here.
“What do you mean I put you together, baby?”
Without a moments hesitation he said, “You came and got me and put me all together. And I loved you!”
My eyes begin to water, but I refuse to let him see. I hurriedly put his shirt over his head and regain my composure.
“Where did I put you guys together?” I ask trying to see where he must have gotten this from. I have yet to talk to him about the birds and the bees or even that babies come from their mommies belly if you’re lucky enough to get pregnant. I put his jammie shorts on him as we finish our conversation.
“At the airport. Mommy, you got B, too. And you put him together, too. I make you happy?”
I pulled him close to me and with tears streaming down my face I said, “You make me so happy, baby. So very very happy. I love you and B so much and Mommy is very lucky to have you both.”
He pulled me away and looked at me closely.
“You got me, Mommy,” he said and with that he grabbed my hand and we watched his trains movie. Except this time…he got an extra fifteen minutes so I could cuddle him that much longer.